Jumper
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"Nobody is ever too busy, if they care they will make time."
Friday, October 17, 20146:26 PM
Time really flies without you ever realising it. I can't believe it's already halfway through my exchange, because it seemed like it was just yesterday where I was still preparing all the paperwork and planning for my trip. But, to be honest, exchange isn't always as fun as people picture it to be. Or maybe, the fact that I'm having a one week fall vacation now while J is going through midterms week isn't helping. With so much time on my hands now, I admit that through out the last couple of days, there has been so many times that I've felt..... sad/frustrated/idk how to phrase my emotions in words, cause he always seemed like he's so busy with school or idk what, that he barely has time for me. I thought that during my fall vacation we could maybe see each other more often than we normally do on sch days since I can always work my time around you, but I guess I was wrong. In fact, I think we see each other less than on normal school days now. And at times like these, I question myself whether I'm being too needy. But then again, I'm sure it doesn't take too much time to just drop a simple text every hour or something, even if he doesn't have time to Skype cause he wants to study in peace, maybe? I don't even know.
Part of the reason why I didn't follow my friends to eastern europe during my fall vacation, financial constraints aside, is also because I know that I can't be there to skype/text you as often as I would like to if I were to be travelling. Knowing that it's your midterms week, I thought it would be good to be readily available every time you need someone to rant to. But I guess it was a unnecessary thought.
And every time he hangs out with his friends or goes on school trips, I do feel quite sian sometimes because I know he probably wouldn't (bother) texting me. And yup, I was right because last night was the case again. I don't know if I'm being too needy or what and it's not that I don't like him to hang out with friends because I do believe in having our individual time and that it's always good to have some distance and not stick to each other like some muah chee. But when I'm out with friends or wtv, I do make it a point to try to text him/ reply his texts whenever I can because I feel that it goes to show that, no matter what I'm doing, I always have him at the back of my mind. And yes, I believe that nobody is ever too busy, if they care they will make time. But maybe each person's love language is just different, which is also the reason why I'm writing all my thoughts here instead of telling all these to J because I don't want to impose anything on him. Making it a point that he must reply me/text me every hour or something along those lines will probably just make things rather stressful/whatever you call it, imo. I've felt like that in the past before, where I find that T sometimes make me feel so stressed in a r/s, and I don't want that to happen for J. I do believe that these kind of things if you feel a need to do it you will do it. You don't need people to tell you so/to impose it on you. It will take me some time to get used to this I guess, because I do believe that he cares, but he expresses it in a different way. And no matter how upset I feel on some days, he somehow always makes it up with a simple, "love you <3", even though he probably didn't know that I wasn't feeling too good/happy. Simple things like these never fails to make my day :)
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